Communication is an art. Getting people to open up and talk is an important skill to have today. Sometimes, we have to maneuver around the person unwilling to share their thoughts. One approach that can work is to paraphrase or summarize what little information they have provided. An example may be:
“If I understood you correctly, your priority is to update your CRM data?”
I have never heard anyone answer with a clear Yes or No, which is excellent news! It opens new possibilities to involve the other person. People like to make corrections; they add something and say “Yes and,” “Not exactly because,” etc.
To be agile:
- Understand the other person’s view,
- Solve conflicts without burning bridges and hurting others, and
- Involve and motivate others to achieve even more.
Ask questions to help communications. Try to limit your questions. The more straightforward question will be answered. Too many questions can limit your exchange. If you ask several ones at once, the other one goes to waste.
And the real magic of questions is…SILENCE. Make sure you count until 10 when you raise a question. What I see leaders struggling with is waiting for the answer because they think they know it better, not you, of course, the others who are not reading the book.
There is another question I have received many times: “How do I know that I asked a good question?” You don’t need me or a coach or a trainer to let you know. The reaction of your team member will tell you. The first reaction to a good question is, “I didn’t think about that; it is a good question!” Or “Hmm, I don’t know!” A great leader stays in the tension of the conversation and observes the impact of their questions and statements. He navigates through the conversation like a great captain taking one wave after the next. Good luck with adjusting the angle of your next conversation!